A woman who shares the bedroom with her three sons and lets her husband sleep in a spare room has defended her decision..Julie Darby shares a bed every night with her boys Brayden and Kai while husband Gary spends the night alone in a room down the hall.He has been alone in a single bed for five years. The arrangement has led to friends and relatives accusing the couple of spoiling the boys and putting their marriage at risk.
Housewife Julie, 41, told the Sunday People:
“If people think we’re spoiling our sons so be it. We know we’ve made the right choice. Kai and Brayden’s needs come first.”
She added: “We’ve heard it all. We’re ‘spoiling them, we’ll make them too attached, we’ve made a rod for our own backs’. Right from day one people were telling me I was doing everything wrong.
“But our happy, healthy sons are proof we’ve done what is right for our family.”“People don’t believe us but Gary really doesn’t mind. He never has. His stance is that the father’s job is to keep the wife and kids happy.
“If anything it has made us stronger. I admire how he puts his sons’ needs first.We have flexible schedules and make time for sex when the boys are at school, staying over at my mum’s or out with friends.We’ve been together for more than 20 years so we’ve had plenty of time for romance. In a couple of years we’ll back to sleeping in the same bed for a long time to come.”“I’m so used to it now I’m not sure I could sleep without them either. I will cut it off by the time they are 12-13 because boys need to be on their own once they get to that sort of age.I think it’s important to send a message to other parents that if they choose to co-sleep they shouldn’t worry what other people think about it. It needs to be done safely, particularly when they are little – I’ve never smoked or drank.I believe that allowing them the comfort of sharing a bed with me has contributed to their confidence. When children know they are unconditionally loved and supported they thrive.”
“I honestly don’t mind. Julie and I still make time for sex. I don’t need to sleep in the same bed as my wife every night to have intimacy with her.If anything, our relationship has been made stronger by this.
“Allowing the boys to sleep with Julie shows how much we’re both committed to their happiness. That brings them comfort and helps them get a better sleep. Parenting is about making sacrifices.We were all in bed together at first but then they got too big. It made sense for me to move into the boys’ room. It’s their mum they want to sleep with, which is fine by me. I get a nice, peaceful rest every night and wake up to a happy family.
“My greatest joy comes from having a happy wife and happy kids.We’re trying to enjoy their childhood for as long as possible but I am looking forward to being back in the same bed as Julie in a couple of years.We have had criticism from those who think we’re spoiling them. So what if we are? They’re lovely boys and their happiness will always come first for us.”